allisnow | BSG splurge

Pilots: Man, I hate that lawyer of Baltar's.

Lawyer: *is smarmy*

Pilots: Eww.

BOOM!

Lawyer: *is dead*

Pilots: Yeeaaahh... I mean, gee, that's a shame.

* * *

Various smart people: Maybe we shouldn't give Baltar an actual, ya know, trial.

Roslin: That's what the Mad Defense Attorney Bomber wants us to do. So we're going to put Baltar on trial just to frak with them!

Various smart people: ...'k

* * *

Sam: ...no, I miss Kara more!

Lee: No, I do!

Sam: Well, her dying has totally screwed me up!

Lee: Not as much as me!

Sam: Nu-uh! I'm going to get drunk and fall off a Viper!

Lee: Well I'm going to become Baltar's lawyer!

Sam. ... Dude, you win.

* * *

New lawyer guy: I wear glasses inside and steal shit from everybody and I'M CRAAAZZZYYY! If we had an OJ Simpson I would totally defend him.

* * *

Cally: ...so the Cylons aren't even going to have to kill us all because we're all going to kill each other and omg! Also, btw Sharon, Cylons totally suck.

Sharon: *slap*

Chief: ...

* * *

Baltar: *mutter mutter ... confused mutter ... scramble around, muttering* WTF? Where's my pen?

* * *

Adama: No, I miss Kara more!

Lee: You're a big meanie head who won't let me fly! And of course I'm okay. But I still miss Kara more than you!

Adama: Would you like some cheese with that whine? There's a reason they call it being 'grounded'.

Lee: *mope* You're missing a button.

Adama: Crap *wonders if he left it on Colonial One*

* * *

Caprica 6 and Lawyer guy: *pointless meandering conversation about a pen and maybe Caprica's thinking about stabbing the pen into the lawyer's neck or maybe that's just me*

* * *

Lee: Dad, I want to be Baltar's new co-lawyer.

Adama: I'm sure in the real world this would somehow be a conflict of interest.

Lee: Also, I miss her more.

Adama: *slap*

* * *

Baltar reads:

"Baltar,

WE PWN ADAMAS!

Sincerely,
Your lawyer

P.S. Here's your pen. I forgot why I took it, and so did the audience.

P.P.S. PWN!